The Fifth Marauder
by Alex Holly
Summary: Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and Whiskers? Harry finds a name that he never noticed on the Maurader's map. He asks Remus Lupin about it, and finds out that there was a female Marauder at Hogwarts along with them ....


"Fuck you" I mouthed.

"Back to you," Sirius replied silently.

"No thanks," I replied, smiling. Sirius just shook his head, letting his mane of black hair fall into his face. I covered my mouth to hold in the giggles. After all, it was the exams, and we weren't even supposed to be talking, even if it was silently.

"You stupid fuck!" I mouthed, as a paper wad hit me in the head. It was Sirius, again, throwing a piece of wadded-up parchment at me when Flitwick had his back turned. I practically died of silent laughter as a miss-aimed paper wad hit James in the head. He was one of the two people between my desk and Sirius's desk.

"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick, before James could do anything. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_"

More than a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backward off his feet. Several people laughed.

"Ooooo, whatcha got there Jamsies?" I squealed, grabbing a parchment from James. He tried to grab it but I laughed and jumped out of the way. I made my way quickly through the Hall, James right behind me, and broke into a run as soon as I stepped out on the grounds.

"Give it, Chris!" James said hotly, panting slightly. I had made it to our special spot, as I called it. An Oak tree close to the lake and the Dark Forest. We always would hang around there if we were out on the grounds.

" I am NOT CHRIS! It's Christine! Shit! I mean, Christy!" but James managed to get the parchment, well, half of it. I looked at my half of the parchment and I saw it was half of a drawing of a Snitch. At what would be the center, was an E. "You can have it back now."

A few minutes later, Sirius, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew made it to the tree.

"Hey Siiiiiiirrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii."

"What? I told you not to- OW!" I hit Sirius over the head with my book bag. "What was that for?" he asked, rubbing his head.

"_That_ was for throwing paper wads at me," I said, giggling. I plopped down on the ground, my back against the tree. The boys followed suit, Remus digging in his bag for a book and James pulling out a struggling golden Snitch from his pocket.

"Where'd you get that?" Sirius asked. I stole a glance at Remus's book.

"Are _all_ books you ever read textbooks?" I asked him. He shrugged. "You need to read something other than textbooks. Here," I dug in my backpack. I always carried around a couple books just in case, if I was bored. I pulled out two books, one for me, one for Remus.

"Who in the world is _Steven King_?" Remus asked as I dropped Steven King's _The Shining_ onto his textbook.

"Muggle author, writes Horror stories," I said simply, opening my own book, Stephen King's _It_. Remus looked mildly and politely interested, and read the back. He looked at me skeptically. "Believe me, it's good, I'd let you read this one, but I'm kinda reading it," I said.

"I'm bored," Sirius said. "Wish it was a full moon."

"You might," Remus said darkly from behind the book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me ... Here." He held out his Transfiguration Book.

Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

"Siri! Be _nice_!" I scolded him, as Remus returned his book to his bag.

"If you don't quit calling me that I'm gonna - "

"What bark at me?" I sneered.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," James interrupted. "Look who it is."

Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that had scented a rabbit. After all, Sirius's so-called-games did seem like a dog torturing a fuzzy little white rabbit. Except his rabbits weren't all cute and fuzzy.

"Exellent," he said softly. "_Snivellus_."

I decided to ignore this and read my book. _"Eddieeeeeeee," his dead brother croaked, just like on of the dead people who were always coming back from the grave in horror comics. Dorsey's grin widened. Yellow teeth gleamed -_

"All right, Snivellus?" James said loudly.

_- and somewhere way back in that darkness things seemed to be squirming._

"Eddieeeee ... I came to see you Eddieee..." 

"_Expelliarmus!_" James shouted. _Oh forget it!_ I thought bitterly. I tried not to watch, for I would join in, probably resulting in another detention. I looked up from my book and watched.

"_Impedimenta!_" Sirius said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet, halfway through a dive toward his own fallen wand.

Students all around turned to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and edged nearer to watch. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advance on him, and I followed,silently fighting to keep from another detention. Of course little Snapey would run off an tell a teacher, but it _was_ entertainment.Peter was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Remus to get a better view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Sirius said with a trace of disgust.

"There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word," I said, smirking. For being a tomboy, it wasn't hard to tell. I had brown eyes, brown hair that was almost always in a ponytail, and I wore a baseball hat if I wasn't in the building.

Several people watching laughed. Peter sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operation on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You - wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of pure loathing. "You just wait..."

"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Snape let out a stream of mix swearwords and hexes, but his wand being teen feet away nothing happened.

"Watch your mouth, you're in the presence of a lady," James said coldly. "_Scourgify!_"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking - _Three... Two ... One_

"Leave him ALONE!"

It was Lily Evans, Jamsies's big crush. James's free hand jumped to his hair again. Evans had long, thick, dark red hair and stunningly green eyes.

"Awww, does wittle Wiwy wike Snapey?" I mocked.

"And it's any better you like _him_?" she snapped, glancing at Sirius. I made a growling noise, resembling a tiger's growl.

"All right, Evans?" said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature. I rolled my eyes, _Here we go again_.

"Leave him alone," Evans repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," James said, smirking, "it's more the fact that he's _alive_, if you get what I mean..."

Many of the surrounding people laughed, Sirius, Peter, and myself included, but Remus, apparently intent on _The Shining_ didn't.

"I mean, look at him, for starters. That would scar you for life," I said. More people laughed, and even Remus smiled in spite of himself, but Evans didn't.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag Potter, and you, Holly, are just a slut. Now leave him _alone_!"

My wand was out in five seconds and I'd opened my mouth to hex her to hell and back, but felt an hand on my arm.

"Don't," Sirius hissed, lowering my arm. "She's a prefect, you could get detention. Do it for James," he added when I gave him a look that said I really didn't care. I sighed and returned my wand to my pocket, turning around, back to Snape.

"JAMES!" But, too late. Snape had crawled over to his wand; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face. He whirled around; a second flash of light later, Snape was being hung upside down, his robes falling over his head to reveal long, pallid legs and graying underwear.

"Put him down!" Evans yelled.

"Please! Before we all go blind!" I added. James, laughing, let Snape fall to the ground. He got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "_Locomotor Mortis!" _and Snape keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Evans shouted. She had her own wand out know. James and Sirius eyes it warily but I laughed.

"What are you going to do, hex us?" I asked.

"Just take the curse off of him!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse.

"There you go," he said to Evans.

"You're lucky Evans was here to save you, Snape-" I began,

"I don't need any help from a Mudblood like her!"

Evans blinked. "Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is..."

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off a broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" James said, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

"She thinks you're in love with yourself, basically," I translated.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right - "

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

"Dear god, no James! I've been blinded enough!" I said.

Luckily, Professor McGonagall came out at that moment. Well, I'm not sure if it was lucky or not. I avoided being scarred for life, but she gave James, Sirius, and me detentions.


End file.
